Romance in a Country Home
May 22, 2008|Comments (none)
I must say that I cruise a lot of blogs and read many different perspectives on marriage. The odds are stacked against us married folks and we would be pretty silly not to acknowledge them. As comedian Bill Burr says, “Isn’t anybody looking at the stats? What is it like 1 in 2 marriages…? People, if you were going skydiving and they told you that half the parachutes weren’t going to open. You’d be like… I’m not going. I don’t like those odds. Fifty percent chance of splatting on the ground? I’m not going.” And yet, 2.2 million marriages are performed in the U.S. alone each year. That’s about 5,918 each day. That’s huge!
Why? Because we all have an idea of what marriage could be like and we’re willing to take the greatest emotional and financial risk of our lives to reap the rewards of a happy marriage.
Now, I’m not handing out advice on how to achieve the perfect marriage (after all, my marriage is not perfect but it is perfect for me) but I’m going to share the elements of my marriage that keep the romance alive.
Faith: Little in life could have prepared me for how it would feel to sit next to my husband and worship — together. I realize that not everyone who reads this attends a church, synagogue, or temple. That’s fine. Far be it from me to lecture you on spiritual matters but sharing your faith with your spouse is powerful stuff. That’s some good medicine, if you ask me.
Waking: Every morning (with a few exceptions), I get up with my husband. This may sound trivial, but my husband is a military man — this means that he is often crawling out of bed at 3:00 in morning. I shuffle out to the kitchen with him to pack his lunch (and scribble a love note for that lunch pail) and/or fix him breakfast. On his days off, Josh wakes before I do and takes care of all the animals without waking me. On those mornings, I feel so deliciously lazy and loved. Click here to see a typical breakfast for Josh.
Flowers: Flowers are also good medicine. My husband brings in flowers from the yard and leaves them for me to find or I arrange them around a candle for a romantic centerpiece. This is not an occasional thing. It happens frequently and, trust me, it never gets old.
Food: Meals are our time to reconnect and show appreciation for each other. I try to make every meal special with my invented recipes and the dishes that I know Josh loves. And as Ann can tell you, food is such an amazing blend of sensual textures and flavors that when shared with your sweetheart — food can really spice things up. My husband clears the table after every meal and I just melt. You men out there reading this: clear the table for your honey. You’ll thank me later.
Projects: We work very hard to be involved in projects together. Josh sits down and looks at the fabrics I have selected to work with (even though I know he’s really not into fabric). I keep him company in the garage and do the painting because Josh hates painting. We are project people. We were project people before we met and now we have a person who we love and respect to bounce ideas off of and learn from. Planning our garden, building guinea housing, or clearing brush from our woods — we find that sharing in projects is also sharing in love.
Drinks: This could have gone under the food category but I think it deserves its own spot. Why? Because there is something wonderful in having a tall glass of water or sweet tea brought to you by your loved one when you are sweaty and hot. Because sitting on the front porch in the cool of the early morning next to your spouse with a mug of steaming hot coffee or cocoa is a simple joy that cannot be put into words.
Bed: Oh yes, I went there but it’s not what you think. I absolutely love making the bed or turning down the covers with my husband. As we smooth out the quilt (that I made), I am sometimes overcome with love for my husband because sharing the simple household chores which I performed on my own for so many years is a reminder of how lonely I was and fortunate I am now.
Children: I fall in love with my husband all over again when I see him with the children of our friends or with his son. He feels the same way about me. Being able to see his capacity to love and be loved by children is a strong factor in why I see him as not just my husband, my best friend, or my partner — but as a father. We cannot wait to be full-time parents and to share in raising a child.
At the end of the day, country romance is more than just feeding each other fried chicken, slurping sweet tea, and enjoying the bench seat of a pickup truck — it is learning to view simple, everyday events as a way to reconnect.
Simple Livin’ Gal
May 20, 2008|Comments (none)
What is so great about simple living? That is a rhetorical question. Yep. When I am not sailing past shoppers in the Commissary (that’s the military’s idea of a supermarket) giggling at buggies which are piled high with prepackaged foods, laundry detergent, yogurt sticks, dog treats, bread, and soda — I am enjoying the look on people’s faces when they discover that I make everything in their cart, cupboard, or pantry in my little kitchen. That is a swinging-on-the-gate feeling if ever there was one. Hey, don’t judge me. I’m just easily entertained. I still get a kick out of scrubbing my baseboards with an old toothbrush, a pail of water, and a bar of homemade soap. Simplifying life is a reward in itself. In today’s world, it is easy to get discouraged because of all of the bad (violence, oppression, chemical warfare — in our supermarkets as well as on a global level, health care or the lack thereof, waste, disease, and more). While I am certainly not in denial about the state of things, I choose to focus my attention on making a difference in my own home, community, and life. As Mohandas Ghandi so eloquently put it, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – but in being able to remake ourselves.”
Here’s a simple living joy that I personally love: Sourdough Starter a.k.a The Mother Sponge. This little bit of genius **bowing to the breadmakers of yesteryear** can be kept indefinitely at room temperature if fed a simple diet of flour and water. A sourdough starter is not only a handy way to produce fabulous breads but a great way to stop paying ever-rising prices for yeast and/or bread at the grocery store.
Here’s my method (possibly not the best method but it works for me):
- 2 cups unbleached, unbromated flour
- 2 cups warm water (I use the water that I’ve boiled potatoes in to provide additional starch)
Add water to the flour in a bowl.
Blend the ingredients and pour into a plastic gallon-size zip-loc bag.
You should keep the starter in a warm place; 70-80 degrees Farenheit is ideal because it allows the yeast already present in the flour (and in the air) to grow rapidly. I keep mine on top of the microwave. Feed the starter by using a cup of it (or throwing it away — which is wasteful so just make pancakes with it, ok?) and then adding a half-cup of flour and a half-cup of water. Do this every day. Within three or four days (it can take longer, a week or more, and it can also happen very quickly) you should see lots of bubbles and a pleasant beery smell. The starter will begin to puff up, too. This is all very good. Once a froth develops: you have made a sourdough starter. Now you can reduce your daily feedings to just once a week. This starter can be passed down through your family.
Did that sound ridiculously easy? Well, it should. People who thought you could fall over the edge of the world made this stuff all the time.
Any bread recipe (that does not call for quick-rise yeast) can be altered to use a sourdough starter — just substitute the yeast/water/sugar mixture with a cup of sourdough starter. Never made bread in your life? Terrified of trying it? Click here and see the tutorial. Email me if you have questions.
Oh yes, one more thing: the hooch. I personally think that is the coolest name in cooking. The hooch is a dark liquid that will form on the top of your starter. Do not panic. Just pour it off. And say “hooch” a couple more times. Have a good chuckle and hum the theme song to The Dukes of Hazzard.
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Sympathy Itch
May 19, 2008|Comments (2)
In our little corner of south Georgia, it is not uncommon to see folks clawing away at itchy spots throughout the summer months. These spots could be caused by any number of things: poison ivy, poison sumac, poison oak, chiggers, ticks, fleas, mosquitoes, spiders, etc. These stinging, biting, and/or poisonous critters and plants know no prejudice. They happily engage with people of all shapes, sizes, and bank accounts. This means that during any gathering of Southerners, a sympathy itcher (like me) will be kept very busy.
I can’t help it. If they itch, then I itch.
As many have figured out: I am fascinated by animal behavioral science and thrill to the thought of unlocking the secrets of the universal truths. Today’s universal truth: we are all sympathy itchers. Case in point:
“I wonder what bit me, Hue?”
“Hang on, Loo. There’s something under my wing.”
“You know, that’s funny because my shoulder itches, too.”
At some point, we just have to leave. The itching cycle will continue indefinitely. Was there really a real cause for the itch? The world may never know…
Tell me: are you a sympathy itcher? Can you stand the mere mention of lice, mosquitoes, fleas, or poison ivy? Are you itchy right this very minute?
See another universal truth by clicking here.
