Jackie Chick-an (the emphasis is on the “an” portion), is our Buff Orpington rooster. He is the center of his universe. His confidence is unmatched. He crushes atomic bombs with roundhouse kicks, seasons his steak with pepper spray, and he is the reason why Waldo is hiding. But I digress…
This bad-to-the-bone fellow should have “Stayin’ Alive” as his own personal theme song. Rick James and Chuck Norris should just politely step aside. He blows bubbles with beef jerky, y’all. This is one mighty, mighty winged man. In fact, I’m not actually writing this post for him… the words assembled themselves out of fear.
Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Jackie Chick-an requests a body bag. The first law of Thermodynamics states that energy can be neither created nor destroyed… until Jackie Chick-an came along, anyway.
In the words of Julius Caesar, “Veni, Vidi, Vici, Jackie Chick-an.” Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked in the face by Jackie Chick-an. Every one of Jackie Chick-an’s feathers must be registered as a lethal weapon. I know, I signed the forms.
This has been a public service announcement. We will now continue with our regularly scheduled program.
NOTE: Our Buff Orpington rooster is actually very docile. None of these captions are true. Or are they?