Dumb and Dumber, our remaining male guinea fowl, are far too proud to come in out of the cold. I say “proud” in place of “stupid” or “moronic” because I am now a Southerner.
Josh built them a really lovely house and they use it frequently but enjoy roosting on top of it or in the uncovered portion of the thing while frigid rains pour down upon their odd brainless Mowhawked heads. And you thought I was mean by calling them dumb. It’s freezing out there!
Josh and I captured them, locked them in the red chicken coop (very warm), and then began constructing a covered run so they might enjoy the fall days. Josh used chicken wire around the coop with blueberry netting over the top so that the guineas wouldn’t be able to fly over the fence.
Have you ever seen guineas fly? It is really quite a sight. I mean, seriously — those jokers can fly! One could easily spend the entire day sipping Co-Cola (as the locals call it) and watching those silly prehistoric looking birds walk into the fence, back up a few paces, and walk back into the fence before suddenly figuring out that… Imagine!… they have wings and can fly over it with relative ease. In fact, guinea fowl are excellent fliers. When, of course, they remember that they can.
We are hoping to train the guineas (Lloyd and Harry) to actually put themselves to bed once it is dark and below fifty degrees. So far, we have had to catch them and force them into the red coop which they are then reluctant to leave when the coop door is opened and sunlight is streaming in.
The chickens are much easier to negotiate with. Wherever a chicken sleeps is its home and it will return to like clockwork to roost. Like that Metallica song… anywhere I may roam where I lay my head is home. Why can’t Lloyd and Harry be so logical? Am I really asking for birds named after Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne to be logical? Shouldn’t the real question go something like:
Why on earth does Lacy know both the first and last name of the lead characters in Dumb & Dumber?
Really. What self-respecting person freely admits to knowing stuff like that?
Anyway, the guinea winter training continues for at least a week and then we hope to be able to take down the unattractive fencing to let the guineas become vagabonds (free range birds) once more. I’ll let you know how it goes. Promise. Triple stamp, no erasies, touch blue make it true. Any advice? Any closet Dumb & Dumber fans out there?
So, I know you’re wondering why on earth we have guinea fowl if they are A.) dumber than rocks B.) dumber than spit… find out why we’re not totally insane here. Just in case we really are crazy: it’s the cracked ones that let the light in. Love, Lacy