What is in a Name?
November 17, 2008|Comments (38)
Fall, as you know, is my time for reflection. It is my moment to break down the walls and explore the full spate of my reality: past, present, and future. Staring deeply into those leaves above (taken at Westville Village) is a dangerous thing. The colors swirl and am lost in thought.
I’ve certainly had moments of great highs where I felt as though I were standing in the middle of a mountain stream with fishing pole in hand and the afternoon sunlight playing over my shoulders as if pouring from out Pan’s pipes into my soul. A sense of timelessness, purity, and simplicity. That “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay” feeling that just creeps up on a body like childrens’ toes over the edge of a boat just coasting across the water.
Yet, then there were moments to weep over when I felt frightened and betrayed by some outside force which seemed so far beyond my range of understanding, where I realized I had no life experience to fall back upon to help guide me through. Nothing with which I could say to myself, with confidence,”I survived that so I can make it through this.”
Adoption does crazy things to a person.
We have completed our training, interviews, background checks, fingerprinting, mountains of paperwork, medical exams, TB tests, home study (an inspection of the home and more interviews), and have submitted everything to the state of Georgia Division of Family and Children Services. We are officially waiting for children.
Waiting for children should be exciting and joyous but can be a frustrating and heartbreaking process. In our case, this was a cause for heartbreak. By the time all of the people working on our paperwork for the home study returned from summer vacations and actually finished typing everything up to submit it — the four children we’d fallen in love with were adopted by someone else.
Neither of us were prepared for the sense of loss which washed over us like a tsunami. We felt cheated and while we knew it was wonderful for those children to now have a family to care for them and love them — it was hard to focus on that victory through our own disappointment.
I suppose I should mention that we had never actually met the four children. We couldn’t because we were still waiting for our paperwork SNAFU to be resolved. We had their pictures, names, and a short paragraph about each of them which we memorized. We talked about them, prayed for them, and asked everyone around us to pray for them. The picture of those four children was… essentially… an ultrasound image of an unborn baby to expecting parents. It is proof of life and the first glimpse of your baby(ies).
So now we are sifting through the My Turn Now adoption site. We occasionally get phone calls about children but the children are either too old (we are a young couple — it wouldn’t make sense for us to try and raise a teenager) or are not legally free to adopt. My little rule: if I can’t remember their names then they are not meant for us.
Sounds terrible, huh?
I know. But think about it — We are constantly praying for the children that are brought to our attention. I think about them while I’m sorting laundry, making soap, and cleaning the house so if I find myself constantly having to trot over to the computer to look up their names because I can’t seem to commit them to memory — they are not on my heart. Josh has the same policy. They are not meant for us.
This Thanksgiving season, please join us in prayer and good thoughts for the four children that were placed on our hearts who are now starting a new life with loving parents. We ask for your continued support as we wait for children to call our own.
Simple Living Gal Exposed, Part 2
November 8, 2008|Comments (24)
Just when you thought you were safe…. Becca of Swamp Yankees From Outer Space roped me into revealing seven wacky facts about myself that you never wanted to know and that have absolutely nothing to do with farming or simple living. Okay, maybe you secretly wanted to know that stuff and are currently doing somersaults in the light from your glowing computer screen. If so, I salute you and am only slightly weirded out.
Factoid #1
I hold the title of Queen of Minutiae. I know more useless information than anyone I know — except my good buddy, Landon, who is King of Minutiae. Be warned…. do not attempt a game of trivia with the likes of the royal family of Minutiae.
Factoid #2
My vehicle can often be spotted on the side of the road with its driver (yours truly) trotting up some embankment risking life and limb (Did I mention that Georgia is the predacious bug capital of the Western world? Chiggers, ticks, etc.) to photograph a tree, leaf, cloud, blade of grass, or something.
Factoid #3
I love lucky bamboo. There are probably ten pots of it throughout our house. Every time I look at it, I start belting out my very best version of Madame Butterfly. Be glad that you are not one of my long-suffering neighbors.
Factoid #4
I’m allergic to aloe vera. That’s right: just the most widely used herbal medicine of all time. It’s in everything! Bathroom tissue, sun screen, lotion, cosmetics, shampoo, conditioner, vitamin supplements, and facial tissues.
Factoid #5
Hats give me thrills. I love wearing them and secretly yearn for the days when women wore hats every time they left the house or went to church. So glamorous!
Factoid #6
My latest guilty pleasure read is entitled O Come Ye Back to Ireland, about a beautiful couple who moved to western Ireland and lived simply in a remote village. It was so lovely that I ended up in tears.
Factoid #7
Josh can testify to the fact that I am the most forgetful and absent-minded twenty-four year old ever. It is not uncommon to hear me say things like, “Where did I park the vacuum?” or “How did the grocery list end up in the fridge?” I lose things constantly. Constantly. In fact, I just lost my train of thought. Please send help.
How about you? Any random factoids to share about yourself or your family members? I’m all ears.
Lullaby for a Stormy Night
November 6, 2008|Comments (21)
As I think about the children that will someday be our own, I try to picture them riding their bikes in the front yard, playing catch with Josh, coloring in the filtered afternoon light at the dining room table, or helping me measure out flour in the kitchen. We are so excited to share in those moments with our future children.
Are they thinking of us? Do they imagine themselves curled up on our front porch beside us with a rumpled quilt and stack of Berenstain Bear books? Do they picture us running to hold them when they’ve fallen or had a bad dream?
When I first heard the song, Lullaby for a Stormy Night by Vienna Teng, I couldn’t stop the tears. I hoped that our future children had loving foster parents who would comfort them during thunderstorms.
What songs do/did you sing to your children when they are frightened? What stories do you tell them when they are ill, bored, or afraid?
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