What is in a Name?
November 17, 2008|Comments (38)
Fall, as you know, is my time for reflection. It is my moment to break down the walls and explore the full spate of my reality: past, present, and future. Staring deeply into those leaves above (taken at Westville Village) is a dangerous thing. The colors swirl and am lost in thought.
I’ve certainly had moments of great highs where I felt as though I were standing in the middle of a mountain stream with fishing pole in hand and the afternoon sunlight playing over my shoulders as if pouring from out Pan’s pipes into my soul. A sense of timelessness, purity, and simplicity. That “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay” feeling that just creeps up on a body like childrens’ toes over the edge of a boat just coasting across the water.
Yet, then there were moments to weep over when I felt frightened and betrayed by some outside force which seemed so far beyond my range of understanding, where I realized I had no life experience to fall back upon to help guide me through. Nothing with which I could say to myself, with confidence,”I survived that so I can make it through this.”
Adoption does crazy things to a person.
We have completed our training, interviews, background checks, fingerprinting, mountains of paperwork, medical exams, TB tests, home study (an inspection of the home and more interviews), and have submitted everything to the state of Georgia Division of Family and Children Services. We are officially waiting for children.
Waiting for children should be exciting and joyous but can be a frustrating and heartbreaking process. In our case, this was a cause for heartbreak. By the time all of the people working on our paperwork for the home study returned from summer vacations and actually finished typing everything up to submit it — the four children we’d fallen in love with were adopted by someone else.
Neither of us were prepared for the sense of loss which washed over us like a tsunami. We felt cheated and while we knew it was wonderful for those children to now have a family to care for them and love them — it was hard to focus on that victory through our own disappointment.
I suppose I should mention that we had never actually met the four children. We couldn’t because we were still waiting for our paperwork SNAFU to be resolved. We had their pictures, names, and a short paragraph about each of them which we memorized. We talked about them, prayed for them, and asked everyone around us to pray for them. The picture of those four children was… essentially… an ultrasound image of an unborn baby to expecting parents. It is proof of life and the first glimpse of your baby(ies).
So now we are sifting through the My Turn Now adoption site. We occasionally get phone calls about children but the children are either too old (we are a young couple — it wouldn’t make sense for us to try and raise a teenager) or are not legally free to adopt. My little rule: if I can’t remember their names then they are not meant for us.
Sounds terrible, huh?
I know. But think about it — We are constantly praying for the children that are brought to our attention. I think about them while I’m sorting laundry, making soap, and cleaning the house so if I find myself constantly having to trot over to the computer to look up their names because I can’t seem to commit them to memory — they are not on my heart. Josh has the same policy. They are not meant for us.
This Thanksgiving season, please join us in prayer and good thoughts for the four children that were placed on our hearts who are now starting a new life with loving parents. We ask for your continued support as we wait for children to call our own.
The comment box is below the way-cool advertisement.
Please leave us a comment. We love reading them and feel that they are the best part of the site. Thank you!
((((((((((((((((lacy)))))))))))))))))))
oh how i wish i could make this easier or your wait shorter or something………anything.
all that i know is that God already has your babies picked out and knows each of their names. they’ll be home with you and josh soon girl. i know that i know!
OK you didn’t ask for a vote - but I think Drake, Kennidi and Chandler are about as cute as life can get! I had been picturing the sibling group of 4 for you - but since we both know God has someone already being prepared for you and Josh - we can pray those children are revealed SOOONNNNN - Bless you - adoption is prolife in action. Thank you!
Oh Lacy. I’m so sorry…that had to be such bittersweet news. I know that you and Josh wanted to be those sweeties’ forever family.
God knows who your children are. I am praying for you and those babies.
now that the paperwork is done, i’m sure the children that are meant to be yours will be revealed soon.
Oh Lacy, I just wanted to hug you. Please considered yourself hugged. I’m so sorry to hear but maybe they are just not meant to be. When the time comes, you and Josh will be blessed with children who are meant to be part of your family.
Such magnificent and atmospheric photos! You are an artist!
I’m so sorry to hear about the children being given to another couple! I know that adoptive parents have to be serious, but it makes me angry to see what you/people have to go through in order to adopt children when you know that anybody can make babies no matter how they live or how they will treat them…
Cheers,
Rosa
Hugs!!!! I know how hard and long the wait is. Big, huge hugs!!
Your true babies are out there so don’t give up hope. You and Josh are in our thoughts and prayers.
BTW, you’re bound and determined to keep me painting forever aren’t you? I see your evil plan. You put post gorgeous pictures and I have to paint them.
A shaman once said to me, “Nothing can happen until it is the perfect time for it to happen.” Despite how things appear to be or the pain you are feeling all is in perfect order and will manifest . My heart is with you both.
oh lacy!
my heart is aching for you right now…how sad and disappointing! i have no doubt that there is a plan for you guys and i am sure out there is the family that is destined to be yours. we are planning on adopting in the somewhat distant future…and i find myself checking out the adoption websites to see kids that we would love to bring into our home. i can’t imagine how much hurt you must be feeling right now, but your kids are out there somewhere. the will be yours, and you will be a great mom to them. until then, well, i will be praying for you…and for your kids!
Lacy and Josh - sorry I jumped in there and made a suggestion (subtlety is NOT a strongpoint of mine)- the situation is obviously NOT what was presented at the website. It is a blessing y’all are so prayerful and aware of what you can and cannot do at this point. Life will be a big challenge to take siblings into your home - the issues you explained to me are far beyond beahvioral problems but rather indicators of major disturbances. Porr kids and poor folks waiting to become a forever family - Bless y’all -
Lacy, the lord will bring right children to you. I’ll keep praying it happens soon.
Now that your paperwork is in order you may want to take a look here -Adoption Family Network (AFN)-
http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/adoption_and_foster_care/adoption_family_network/default.asp
Wow, we’re waiting too. Well, actually we can’t even be presented yet, we have one more approval to get through at a council meeting a month from now. Then we’ll be official. But we are waiting.
I know how much you can fall for a photo and description and I want you to know how very, very sorry I am for you. But God must have another plan for you. There must be children coming that will need you even more. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
Christine
Oh my dear Lacy…and Josh…I am sooooo terribly sorry! I can’t imagine the heart wrenching time you two are going through. Please, please remember Sweetie, you two are in my thoughts, my prayers and my dreams….constantly! I want for you as though you are my children (which, since I adopted you…you ARE!)..my heart aches for you. I know the perfect children will come into your home and into your hearts, which probably seems like an eternity for you, but they will come and you will all be so blessed because of this times Snafus.
Lacy, you and Josh, embrace each other in a huge hug from me! You’ve embraced my heart so much since I “met’ you, I wish I could be there for you, just know I am in love and spirit and you can call or email anytime you want!!!
{{{{{{{Much love & hugs & prayers, Lacy & Josh}}}}}}
Momma Barb
Lacy, I know this is such a setback and I can’t even imagine your heartache. But you know, everything in His time and according to His plan. These just weren’t your children, simple as that. I do pray that they are in a wonderful home, and I can’t wait to see the children that God sends you.
It is tough to wait…but you will get the kids that are meant for you. Be patient and diligent and the right kids will be given to you…hang tough!
I am so sorry for the hurt you are experiencing because this did not work out. God has a plan though. Even though we don’t understand the road he has us on to get to that plan. I can’t remember if I told you this before or not, for some reason I think I did. Anyway, I love the quote and refer to it often.
“Every Minute you are Waiting GOD is Working”
Oswald Chambers
Oh, sweet Lacy. I know that hurt. I’m sure it is not unlike losing a child to miscarriage. I have done that twice. And while the wound for those children never fully heals, the ones who eventually come into your life will make it easier to live with the loss. Hang in there. Pray often. Hug your husband. Know you are loved. And continue the wait. It will be worth it.
Aw darlin’, my heart aches for you. At the same time, I’m so heartened by the fact that you and Josh are being SO mindful and “heartful” about the way in which you’re going about this — letting your intuition guide you, letting the kids find you and you find the kids through a certain indescribable “connection” that will just be organic as it happens. It will happen. HUGS.
Wow! Those are gorgeous pictures! Of course I had to wipe my eyes a few times to really see them*sniff*. Prayers will be sent your way!
I am praying for you family now and the family you will have in the future. Your kids are out there. You just have to wait for them to be revealed to you.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13
Trust His heart.
- Holly
Oh, Lacy…my heart breaks for you and Josh right now. Truly when the children who are meant to be yours are, at last, home…safe and sound…no doubt you’ll then say…I understand.
In the meantime, I’ll be praying for you both and for the precious children who are waiting just for you.
Love,
Dianne
Oh Lacy what a heartfelt post. I’ll be praying for you 2 and the kids!
It will be soooo worth the wait, I’m sure.
But the waiting has got to be painful and frustrating…
Hoping that it will all be done soon!
Sweetheart, I wish I could say something meaningful to help you and Josh but nothing eases the pain when in your heart you want something so much. I will keep praying for you and your future children. It is a long, hard rollercoaster ride that you are on but at the bottom is God’s best creation; children…waiting for you, made just for you…
Oh, Lacy and Josh!
I will pray for those four children God asked you to remember in prayer ~ and an expectancy He gave you because of them. I will pray your hearts heal quickly as you get a referral in record time. Those four needed your prayers, and I wish I knew why God decided to let them pass to someone else. Other than, when you get the child(ren) meant for you, you will look back on those four shining faces and be relieved they went to someone else. Because, smiling up at you, in your own home, will be the shining face(s) of YOUR child meant for your from the beginning of time.
Praying for you today,
Heatherj
When mama took our first foster boy, age 13, 6′4″, 225 pounds, size 13D shoe,to a medical clinic, the doctor looked at mama, then the boy - and said; “You are foster parents, right?” Mama was 24 !! Since then we have had a total of 32 foster children, and our daughter is in the process of adopting her second international child. Lacy, be patient w/God, he will work this all out. Look at each victory and set back with one thing in mind; “what does my Heavenly Father want me to learn from this and how can I serve Him better?”
One more thing - no more babies except grand children in this house!
(((((Lacy)))))))
Oh honey, I’m so sorry for this disappointment in your life. Just remember there is a reason for everything and the Lord has a plan for you. There is a reason why there was a paperwork SNAFU and that could be is YOUR child wasn’t yet. Your babies are out there just waiting for their completely awesome parents, cause that is what you will be.
I will pray for the children and am happy they found a home, even though it feels like it should have been with you. But your time will come and then I will get to read all your awesome blogs about your kids. And your kids will get to enjoy life with their loving parents. And not to mention all the yummy goodies you make!!!
Know that you are in my heart and prayers. And you are loved by so many, my soul sista!
: (
I’m so disappointed too! I agree with what everyone is saying, that the children that are meant to be yours are out there waiting, and your time will come, but still, I was hoping those kids would be the ones! You are so ready, and you and Josh will be SUCH great parents. I am thinking very very positively for you. You are going to make some kids soooooooooooo happy!!!!!
[...] ideas and tutorials? Check out our Handmade Holiday. Lonely without goats or curious about how our adoption is going? It’s all at your [...]
I will keep you and them in my prayers. I am sad to hear it didn’t work out the way you had hoped and prayed it would. They are beautiful children and it appears they would have fit perfectly. Fortunately we can trust God has a plan for all of you. Blessings to you all.
Lacy: I must have missed this post and it is such an important one. I do hope something continues to move on this adoption. I was getting ready to visit just before you commented.
I want to tell you a story. Drop me an E-mail, at imafishingguy@yahoo.com - so I can share it with you.
Hope your Thanksgiving was blessed!
I am sorry , Lacy.
We are also an adoptive family. I cetainly will put you on my prayer list. Just remember, God knows just who you need and who needs you.
Linda
Lacy, I just read this post. How so very well I relate, but it’s not an easy thing to handle. I believe you will always miss those 4 children…it IS very possible to be their mother in your heart before even meeting them. In our heads we can know God is choosing for us, but those twists and turns are so wrenching sometimes. I do know this — the children He chooses to bring home to you are so very very blessed to have you both, and there will be confirmations that they were handpicked by Him for reasons you’ll find you’re tailor-made for. There will be so much capacity to receive love that they’ll take all that mother’s heart (and father’s) you both have to pour out. I will be dancing for you all that day!! We’ll continue to pray…we love you! I’m terrible about getting time to visit friends now on their blogs…I apologize! If you read this, I have a handmade card (very, um, handmade…not exactly a Hallmark, ha!) I’m wanting to send you guys. My email’s jargil@juno.com if you’d be open to teling me a way for me to mail it to you.
Hang in there…it just will not be forever before you’ll hear “Mom!” 100 times a day
Robbyn