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Time Spent with the Right Man

In my single days, my friends and I devoured each and every relationship advice book we could get our ringless hands on.  We adsorbed a few key lines from one and then raced on to the next — blaming the apparent shortage of quality and single menfolk on any number of things.  Namely the vast quantity of cute little blondes.  One of the lines that we quoted most often was: “Time spent with the wrong person is time wasted.”

We felt this addressed our tendency to hang on to failing relationships — ones we knew would never be right for us — or decide to date someone just because we thought we would never get another offer.  Never.  Most people in that part of the country married their high school sweethearts so at the ripe old age of nineteen, I had passed my prime.  Hopes of getting a date were pretty slim (about as likely as my acceptance to WWF training camp *giggles*).  Did I mention this was a college town?  Well, I was amazed at how many people met at college and spent the rest of their lives in wedded bliss.  How did that happen exactly?  I failed utterly at that one, too.

So, I kept busy.  I went camping, took random trips to the beach with my friends, traveled around the country, and rode my horses.  After all, being single wasn’t a disease that required a cure.  It wasn’t a life sentence to taking an extra long time in the produce section of the grocery store in hopes that I would crash carts with someone who met a few simple requirements: shared my faith, had a job, didn’t live with their parents, and happened to be single.  It was on one of these trips, those adventures I was determined to enjoy, that I decide to leave Virginia and move.  I planned on just moving to Washington for a few months.  Just long enough to enjoy the end of summer and beginning of fall.  A change of scenery was in order.

I met Josh just before the winter rains began.  I was moving into a new place and he was preparing to move out of his apartment.  We’d been neighbors and didn’t even know it.  After having declared him utterly gorgeous, I promptly invited him to a steak dinner — my treat. He accepted and we’ve been best friends ever since.

No time with him is ever wasted.  Not a single moment.  On a scale of one to ten, one being the smell of papaya and ten being an ice cream sundae — he’s an ice cream sundae.

My advice to all those ladies out there who are waiting for the right guy?  Serve steak instead of fancy girlie food.  And never settle for anything less than your best friend — the one who will stay up all night watching goofy eighties movies with you, tells you when you’ve got boogers in your nose, mothers you when you’ve caught the flu, and shares your dreams and your faith.

  • Laurie - How sweet is that? Jeff and I will make 26 years in October. It’s funny how the dynamics of our relationship has changed over that time. It’s kind of like good wine, it mellows out with age. And you become so comfortable with each other.ReplyCancel

  • CrossView - Oh yeah! *dreamy sigh* And when it’s “right”, the bad times are so few and gone so quickly…ReplyCancel

  • Lynnie - I love hearing from people who adore their husbands! I LOVE my husband and am thankful for every day I have with him. It makes me so sad to hear people constantly complaining about their husbands, often over tiny things.

    I had a good example growing up. My mother LOVED my father, and he LOVED her. They had a wonderful marriage and just radiated their love. When he passed away, people at his funeral kept asking my mom, “What can we do?” and she kept giving the same answer, “Love your husbands!” I think that’s some awfully good advice.ReplyCancel

  • tipper - Good advice Lacy! Maybe I should save if for my girls-they’ll be needing in it in a few more years.ReplyCancel

  • YDavis - That’s very sweet!ReplyCancel

  • gingela5 - SOOO sweet. I agree with you 100%! I act like an idiot in front of my husband and I think it makes him love me more! And I went to a college that if you weren’t married by the time you graduated there was something wrong with you! We did meet i college but didn’t get married for a year or two after. And I turned out ALRIGHT!ReplyCancel

  • Christina - I wasted 44 years. Not that I didn’t get something from those years. I got 3 wonderful children, who now as adults are my bestfriends ~ in addition to the love of my life, who I never waste time being with him. He is the most wonderful guy. He spoils me. He brings me coffee nearly every morning. He does 99% of the dishes. He does 80% of the laundry. He tends the garden. He cares for the chickens. He runs a fern nursery. He loves my kids. He sings to me. He tries to refrain from picking on me if I want to watch a “reality” tv show. These last 5 years have been the best years of my life! I wouldn’t trade him for anything!ReplyCancel

  • Rosa - I’m happy to hear that you have found Mr. Right! You both look very sweet and well assembled ;-P!



  • Barb - Lacy, you and Josh are a gorgeous couple! One can see and “hear” the bond the two of you share, a lifetime to treasure together.
    (wished I’d have known you here in WA..could have intro’d you to my military son…) JUST KIDDING…You and Josh have what it takes! And it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy to read the paths you’ve taken together…and the goals you are working towards…the love you are blessed with!
    “Momma Barb”ReplyCancel

  • Marlene - Hi Lacy,
    I too wasted 23 years and hopefully he has found his best friend as I have. We have been married for 5 wonderful years. I couldn’t ask for a better friend than him. Yes I have girlfriends but it is a different kind of friendship. My husband is my confidant, best friend, husband and lover in that order. I learnt lots in the past but I’ve learned more now. I give the Lord All Praise and glory and truly believe my husband was a gift from God. You have been blessed too!!!!!! lol Love AlwaysReplyCancel

  • Fishing Guy - Lacy: What a neat post and good advice to all the girls on the steak dinner. My hope for you is for 40 more years of wedding bliss. My wife and i go out almost every week for steak except sometime I have pork chops instead.ReplyCancel

  • Kath - What a beautiful post. Life flies past us why not spend it with someone that we can enjoy it with.

    So glad you found your best friend!! I did too!

    My first meal for Daryl was potato soup from Good Housekeeping and cinnamon rolls!!! He had never had such a food as his mom is a very old school cook of meat and potatoes ONLY! He loved it and I still make that same recipe with a few added ingredients now 25 years later! (married 23 yrs)

    Steak would be the better choice tho!!ReplyCancel

  • Ann - Me and my friends used to do the same things – read all these books and wonder, what the HECK? Well, the “heck” was that none of us was willing to settle for anything less than what you described above. In other words, we knew better. I waited, it was painful. And it was the best thing I ever did. I waited for my best friend – for a man whom I admire on every level – and that wait is WORTH it!!!ReplyCancel

  • Dawn - I love your story. Sirdar and I have been married for 21 years. The thing about best friends is they are there through every bump and scrape in the road. I love having him and the life we have built together. Thanks for sharing your story.ReplyCancel

  • Tia Julie - Great love story, I am glad you share it, it gives hope to those who wonder if they will ever meet Mr. Right……ReplyCancel

  • Jana - OH LACY!!! WHAT A WONDERFUL POST! I’ve got TEARS in my eyes. You and Josh are the epitomy of happily marriedness and I love it!

    The first dinner I ever made Steve was venison. lol Not my favorite, but I was weaving a web. hee hee And I caught him!!!

    P.S. Missed you… I took a short hiatus.ReplyCancel

  • Robbyn - Excellent, Lacy!!! Your site is looking sooooo great and as always, I love your writing. I miss you, my friend! Hopefully life will let me have a little more puter time, but till then, it’s fun catching up as I can 🙂


  • jess - I LOVE this story! And I can totally relate! I thank God for my husband and I just hope the Lord keeps working on me so I can be the best wife I can for him… 🙂

    love jessReplyCancel

  • Sheri - You give so much hope with each post/story you tell. You and Josh are a beautiful couple inside and out! I love seeing more of your gorgeous smile too!ReplyCancel

  • The Farmers Wife - What a cute couple you make. I wish you all the best in your future.ReplyCancel

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