Sweet Contradiction, A Quest for Authenticity
August 7, 2008|Comments (18)
Am I a study in contradiction? Does my idea of how I am to live my life part company from how I actually live my life?
My friend, Steve, sent me these extraordinary paintings knowing that I would obsess over them and in turn see myself in them. That skunk. He’s always doing these things to me — stirring the brain things in my head. Yet, a little reality check every so often is good medicine.
Just the day before yesterday, I fished out my ancient hand grinder to process beef tallow and bond with the pioneers of yesteryear **nod, nod** but then turned right around and kneaded bread dough with my beloved KitchenAid mixer. While I refuse to spend time watching television or invest in fancy flat screens or plasma-whatevers, I dearly love my computer and view it as a window to the world. I make my own soaps, cheese, yogurt, pasta, and laundry detergent but I own a dishwasher and confess to cherishing it like a sister (no, closer than that). And… AND…. guess where I store my sourdough starter??? On top of my microwave.
So today, as I ponder the depths of who I am, I shift the sands a bit to reveal the woman I have become: my authentic self. There, in the midst of all the confusion there is peace — an oasis in the sands — because I find that what I have is a pioneering spirit. I never claimed to be a pioneer — just to attempt to do as much from scratch as possible in an attempt to stomp the restlessness in my soul; to simplify my life. The truth is that I make a conscious choice to make the great majority of our food and grow what I cannot make, I am unwilling to stop the good feeling train to wash all the dishes that I amass by canning, soaping, candlemaking, and goodness knows what other crazy thing. Because I allow myself these little luxuries, I wake each morning happy and excited about the day ahead. I can take the time to truly appreciate this life and how it has transformed the way I approach every single chore or task. So what does that make me? A modern spin on a classic. Sort of like replacing the 8-track player in a 1967 Shelby GT500.
Do I feel authentic? You bet your sweet bippy.
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I feel the same as you… I don’t own dishwasher nor a microwave nor a car (financial reasons here, although I’d use it only on weekends to drive away), but I love my computer and would like to be the proud owner of a KA!!!
Cheers,
Rosa
My husband’s business name is Urban Pioneer. Does that tell you anything?
Those modernized clasics are great!
I am glad that you are still giving away soap..cuz I do hope to win
Lacy,
We all make choices, either consciously or subconsciously. What’s important is that you make conscious choices and know what’s real and what’s important; what’s convenience and luxury and what you can’t do without. I have no doubt you could do without your microwave and dishwasher if it came to that. The fact that you choose to use certain technologies or labor savers, to me, isn’t a problem as long as you know you wouldn’t “just die!!!!” without them. You know what I’m talking about.
I think you’ve got a good handle on all of it. 
Hugs,
Judy
Dear Lacy,
I agree there are contradictions but I also think that at that time if they (the pioneer women and men) had had the knowledge that we have they would have used them to. I don’t think there is as much contradiction as there is a time difference. Because we are human we will use the utensils of our modern day because they are here. I do enjoy some modern equipment to help me get things done much faster so I can enjoy going to the computor as well. The modern day equipment is a luxury that allow many to abuse there time but (we) have been blessed to know and see the difference.
I thorough enjoy your posts as we can get a chance to see both sides. We can either enhance what we have so we can grow or we have the choice to abuse. People like you enhance. Bless you indeed!!!!!!!!!!
Funny you should write this now. I’ve been thinking this past week what an imposter I am.
I love buying what I can locally and supporting my community. I love growing what we can and making our food from scratch. I love recycling, reducing and reusing. I love that we are building our house to be the most efficient it can be, and environmentally friendly. I love that I’m getting away from using plastic and going to glass for everything I can.
On the way from the farmer’s market on Saturday as I stopped at Starbuck’s I pushed the thought out of my mind of how much of a luxury it was (I had 2 lattes that day :-/) and how un-necessary (I have an espresso maker at home, even worse).
As I was leaving Fresh Market with my environmentally friendly cloth shopping bags containing sushi, chocolate covered espresso beans and other various extravagances it struck me again, but of course I pushed it away as quickly as possible, telling myself we deserve a special treat now and then.
Then I read your post where you mentioned Carabbas, and had that instant mouth watering desire for Chicken Bryan.
My name is Paulette, and I’m an authentic imposter :-/
I love those pictures. The second one is my favorite. I don’t care if people think I am authentic or not.
I wrote this several years ago when I still haunted the homesteading today forums. The argument was “What is a real homesteader?” and the argument was getting testy. I tend as I get older to lean more and more to the old ways and separation from the world, for reasons I won’t get into here, but for what it’s worth this was my thinking. It’s not exactly what I would write now, though parts of it are, and it may be helpful to some:
I’ve been thinking about our ancestors, who’ll I’ll refer to as pioneers instead of homesteaders. I’m thinking of those who first crossed the Appalachians in the 1700’s, those who made the long, hard trip to California and the Oregon Territory in the 1840’s, the Mormon pioneers to Utah, the “sodbusters” of the Great Plains, and those who went to Alaska in search of gold. Yes, they all had it rough, because it was a different, “rougher” time. Some were able to take advantage of the Homestead Act during the limited time period it was in effect. Some, pre-dating the Homestead Act, were able to simply claim a piece of land as their own, yet still many throughout the long period of settlement of our country purchased their land. In truth, the Homestead Act was more propaganda than panacea, a way to get population (hence money) out into the Great Plains (known up to that time as the Great American Desert) to the advantage of the railroads. My own great- grandparents missed the last Oklahoma land run by only days and went on to purchase a “homestead” in the Dakotas. That land was as much theirs as if they’d filed a claim, the work was every bit as hard, and I certainly wouldn’t want to face my ancestors and tell them they weren’t “real homesteaders.” Some had funds, some didn’t. The reason they did things the hard way was not because they had some “homesteader’s standard” to live up to, but because there was no other way to do things. Certainly, no homesteading family of any means turned their backs on the newest labor saving invention, truly they embraced the technology of the day when it made sense. They sought comfort in their homes. Take the sod-house farmers, for example. When they came to a point where they could purchase wood for a frame house many chose to keep their soddies. Because they had some notion of being “true homesteaders?” No, because the soddies were cooler. They were all farmers, because that’s how you ate. There were no separate categories for homesteaders, farmers, etc. If times were rough, no one turned down work off the home place. A good read is “Sod House Days - Letters from a Kansas Homesteader 1877-78″ by Howard Ruede, University of Kansas Press. Which brings us to us. None of us are “real homesteaders”, all of us are “modern homesteaders” though we like to look for the similarities between ourselves and these pioneers. Both categories embrace an incredible variety of people, places and motives. Most of us are probably more accurately termed re-enactors, history buffs, idealists, environmentalists, or lunatics. Like the pioneers we seek to better our lives for probably many of the same reasons they did - freedom, finances, and faith. Like them, some of us have funds and some don’t. The difference is we search for something rare in our world that was commonplace in theirs. Those of us who embrace some of the old ways need to humbly remember that such a choice is a reflection of this modern world and not theirs. They would have thought us strange indeed to want to go backward. If we want to be “true homesteaders” maybe we should model our pioneer ancestors and come together as community emulating a time when neighbors helped neighbors, advice was given gently, certain subjects just weren’t accepted in polite conversation, and good etiquette was the rule of the day.
Well first of all - yay! I can’t wait to try some of your soap. I’ve been using my mom’s homemade soaps for a couple years now but I must admit I’m a sucker for those commercial shower gels… *sigh* I always like to try new soaps and lotions and such though so I have quite a collection I am always adding to! I will be emailing you shortly. And thank you! =)
It’s sort of funny… I prefer to knead my bread dough by hand. I’ve tried the dough hooks on my stand mixer several times, but I just prefer to do it by hand instead. I’d love me an automatic dish washer. I do love my modern conveniences like the computer and my cell phone. But I too also crave “the simple life”… I think a combination of “old fashioned” and “modern” is perfect. If modern technology and gadgets can make life a little easier then it makes sense to make use of them! If that makes us walking contradictions then so be it. =)
I love those pics! And how did I miss a giveaway for some of your soap?????
Love this post Lacy! Such honesty, such passion! Keep on living as you do! You are as authentic of a person as they come!
Barb
Ohmygoodness! I love the modern touches in the old paintings! =D
I adore these paintings. And what a great post! It really made me think.
I don’t have a dishwasher but you’d have to beat me to get my computer away!!
This was a fun thought provoking BLOG and I love all of the comments by your fellow Bloggers especially Judy’s. Thanks to everyone who daily in their own way are attempting to make their place in this world a better place.
Lacy,
I looked at the pictures first and was very confused by the KA mixer in that painting! Then I read what you wrote.
The painting reminds me of Girl with a Pearl Earring, have you seen that, but perhaps not because you don’t do TV, though this is a movie.
I am so attached to my computer and some machines (okay more than some), but I an just as attached to the old-fashioned pride that comes with doing it myself.
Love, Wardeh
I think you captured yourself and how you live perfectly. A pioneering spirit, with a modern twist. Perfection, my dear, perfection.
I absolutely love that second picture with the mixmaster in it. In my minds eye, I would swear to you that that is how I see myself on the inside.
And thank you for the phrase ‘pioneering spirit’. I am forever getting labelled as crafty or as being into farming, whatever that means, but now I know, I just have a pioneering spirit!
I love those pictures ~ my favorite is the first. You are authentic. We are all authentic!